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About Hamilton

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I love that park near Millers Grove. It’s tiny and secret where locals fess up silly stuff. I once met a cheeky fellow tossing out pebbles, yelling "Tabu!" at stray birds. Bet you wouldn’t guess! I have a fave hidden outcrop near Lowes bank, where the river kisses weird rock formations. It reminds me of my first spa treatment—so zen, so wild, so... epic.

‘Lucky’ Aussie Ford hoons harmed no wildlife